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im shy at first. dont laugh. i know its hard to imagine, but its true. i dont normally initiate a conversation with someone i have not been introduced to and even then, i still hold back a lot. i take friendship really seriously though. it may take me time to start one, but once we "click" or get that special vibe, it'll take more than distance to break it. trust is a big issue for me. it make me mad sometimes because I don’t trust people with things that I think or feel. I messes me up sometimes but its ok. i like to say im afraid of heights...but im wrong. im really just afraid of falling. sometimes, im scared of the dark...but we all know that its really just the unknown. success, for me, is unattainable. why? because true success is to stand before god, unashamed. and really, who could do THAT? i am sometimes to bitter and I cant let go of things that easily, though i have to admit that it is one of my weaknesses. jealousy is a thorn on my shoe. pride is a mountain i have yet to conquer. my friends says im immature at times. i guess i am. its a way of escaping from the pressures and responsibilities that life throws at you. i guess holding on to the innocence of childhood is easier than letting go and entering the corrupt world of adults. what i miss most about being a kid is seeing my world so big! i miss the illusion of perfection that we had and the unexploited and unlimited dreams and hopes that were laid before us. im a not perfectionist its stupid to try coz perfection doesn't even exist. I laugh easily, which goes to say a lot about my sense of humor. Sometimes, i laugh so as not hurt a person's feelings. im considerate like that. haha. i love music and photography. they're big big parts of my life and usually, they are both at par with each other. Music controls me. Though myself I cant hold a beat. I love to her my emotions flow in a nice song. I think I relate my life and the things I go though to songs a lil to much. I dono I guess you could say it helps me get through it. i do not take compliments well sometimes I take them as sarcasm because really I have low self esteem I’d feel like you've insulted me. its stupid...but thats me. words and promises are overrated. i believe in love. Some people say people our age cant love or don’t know what love it. But I do and I don’t care what you say love has changed me and mad me better saying someone cant love is like saying they cant eat. Everyone loves even if you don’t have anyone to love. You still love. i appreciate and admire people for their intelligence, talent, values, principles and ideas that they live by not for their physicality’s. beauty is only skin deep. As a student, i have recently discovered that sleep and weekends are figments of the world's imagination. I do what students do pretty well - procrastinate. i still manage to finish my work though, which is quite an achievement considering the amount of time i spend typing up shit like this. i can lie....but its rare that i get away with it, but bassiccly I lie because I don’t want to face the truth. But then isn’t that what every lie is about.?. i love to argue. I try not to express my view on my belifs to much because sometime people take offence to them. To me its not worth them judging me in that way until they get to know the real me. Conservative republicans. Yes I am one.but don’t get me wrong. I don’t like the war but Bush isn’t that bad of a guy and I would like to see you do his job better. Right. Like RIGHT now. But you cant so stop talking about our president in a bad way if you cant change it i dont like to be kept waiting. if you're not gonna show up, tell me. if its not gonna happen, dont act like it will. i think there's enough drama in the world I hate it but for some reason im always getting pulled into it. Whether I like it or not uh...i love milk.. chocolate is too sweet for my palate. i retain useless information easily, which is really weird yet entertaining. gotta love purple and gold.i guess..:/. Human nature and the ironies of the world shock me. Leave it to Hitler to use the swastika (crooked cross used by Christians-in-hiding a long time ago turned spidery Nazi symbol) to provoke fear in the hearts of millions of people decades after the war. I love logic and picking people's minds apart. Christians. Yes I am one. I believe in God. Jaovah .yahhwayy. Whatever you want to call him. Eternal peace. I believe in the rapture and tribulation period. I see it as no religion though it not. People think it is. Christianity. That’s a religion. Being a Christian is something very different and spiritual. It s relationship. It’s the difference between Christianity... and being a Christian. I hate it when people say ohh she s a Christian lala and start to argue with me about why I shouldn’t be. I believe what I believe im not going to force you to believe it. If it comes up in a conversation I will state my ideas and you can state yours whether you believe or come to reason with my statements are up to you. That’s would be why we have free choice. God created everything and everyone. No stupid big bang or evolution. The bible is the only true thing in the world. Though people would say otherwise. I would like to ask them how Christianity was started. All other religions or beliefs started by one or 2 people. Christianity. It was brought about long before anyone could remember. There is nothing that tells us who thought it up. It gets crazy like that. Especially if you get me mad. But if you cut me off when im speaking about it. Don’t expect me to want to come back into that conversation. I don’t like it when people do that. Hmm when im bored, I make novels like this...or just listen to the voices in my head. They’re really very inspiring. I mean... think about it. what if the up and down motion of tooth brushing has an additive effect to the thinking of the ozone layer just like a butterfly's wing's flapping motion in south America can stimulate the beginnings of a hurricane-Katrina-wannabe in the middle of the pacific? Rawr!

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